I'm an Oh.Friggin'.W.

Filed under Self Travel Work


The DIVA has left the building...

I have waited for this for almost a year, and I have very much anticipated the time when I can finally write about it and now the chance has arrived...

I am finally leaving to pursue a new career as a seafarer. Like what I wrote about in previous entries , I have applied for a Front Desk position in a luxury liner and now, I will actually do it.

In the months that I waited and waited, I had drafted many blog posts in my head imagining how I'll summarize my arduous application process and express the excitement and anxieties I feel once I am definite to fly off to see the world.

Yet now, all those drafts seem futile. No words can explain my current state of mind and I dare try no longer.

So, I will just state the fact that I am now officially an OFW as I am finally leaving this Sunday to Turkey (via Amsterdam) where I'll board the passenger ship which will take me to a 10-month cruise to Europe, the Mediterranean and South America.

My new work may prevent me from accessing the internet for some time and I won't be able to update this blog...

But I'm sure once I do get back on the keyboard, I'll have more to talk about and show more photos of my adventure...

Until then, wish me luck and bid me adieu...


My ship has sailed!

A Message From The Past?

Filed under Self Life



the measure of true love

is not when it's lost

it's how it lives in your heart

that it may come and go

yet it will remain embedded in your soul

all forgiving

all encompassing

all consuming

that to lose doesn't mean

losing a part of you

rather, to lose means that there's a part of you

that is set free

and letting go of that

wandering soul

that used to be a twin of your very own

to roam

and finally find its own place in the sun

is what makes you the better person you could be

maybe loss is the only way

to bring you somewhere

you are really meant to be

bringing you to

the one

you are truly

meant to be with



I have recently given up my apartment to go back and stay with my family in Imus. I was rummaging through some old stuff stored in my room trying to figure out how to clean up some mess I have collected through the years and make my old room habitable again.

I chanced upon an old organizer I had since college and found a small paper with a typewritten poem on it. The same poem as above.

Like a scene plucked from a J.K. Rowling book, I felt an odd feeling while reading the poem trying to remember where I got the note, who gave it to me and when I got it. Hard as I try to pick on my middle-aged brain, my memory just failed me.

Then suddenly, I had this funny feeling that I could have been the one who wrote it.

Through the years, I have had momentary phases of inspiration when I would just write poetry at random. But I never got the habit of collecting and keeping them for posterity. And most of these poems, I can no longer remember.

In any case, I just thought of sharing this poem in the hope that someone out there would also find inspiration from it.

With all modesty, I can safely say that I have definitely come a long way since that time when I most likely needed to hear the message of this poem. Suffice it to say, I have learned to live by it... without me consciously realizing it!

Hell, maybe I DID write it!?!? ;-)

Back Without A Gall!

Filed under Self Health Friends


It's good to be back!

After almost a week in the hospital and about three weeks of quasi-house arrest for my recovery, it's good to finally be out with my friends again and be back at work (the latter's the one downside of my 'liberation').

Like what I mentioned in an earlier post, I had to go under the knife for the second time and this time it's for an Open Cholecystectomy (Gall Bladder removal). The whole experience was just like a replay of my first surgery 3 years ago and it went without a hitch. Thanks to my ever-reliable and ever-so-charming Dr. Padlan.

Much thanks also to my ex-Sunshine for being the one who stayed with me during my entire stay at the hospital. This post-relationship friendship we chose to have has never been better!

I also am glad to have friends who took time to visit me (or simply texted) while I was in Makati Med for making it a little more worthwhile (admittedly, I enjoyed my hospital stay!).

My recovery was a bit of a challenge though. I already expected the difficulty in doing some of most basic things like walking or moving around (hell, laughing was really a pain for a few days and sneezing was like a punishment!) but I really struggled with the diet I was forced to be in. For a certified carnivore and grease-lover like myself, it was difficult to ignore my food cravings and just settle with fruits and some bread (I still can't take eating vegetables just yet).

But gladly I am doing much better now and just a few days before my return to work, I already was able to go the White Party in Malate last Saturday. Though the party was a big letdown, being in the company of my friends after my hiatus was a nice way for a 'comeback'.

A few days into my 'officecoming', I had the chance to meet a new friend from SanFo (hello Yves, thanks for a lovely time!) and I also got to see my first movie in a long time ("Transformers" was a blast!).


So overall, it was a nice month of surgery, recovery & a comeback!

The Papa I Knew...

Filed under Papa Self


It's that time of year again when we allot one day to pay tribute to that one man we hold most dear to our hearts..., our fathers.

Truth be told, I have always considered myself a Mama's boy. Thus, I will not be honest if I say I was close to Papa when he was still with us. Much of what I know about him are just things I heard from Mama or my sisters and my brother. The rest, I learned from those rare occassions I got to spend time with him.

It is for this reason that I've always felt that if there's one thing I wished I had done, it is to have tried to get to know Papa more and him to get to know me. But thinking this, I realize that this may have been one of a few (or maybe a lot, I could only guess) that we had in common. We both value our privacy and our solitude. And I feel that we're both satisfied not having to say what's no longer needed to be said. Maybe to a certain extent, we already knew each other without uttering much.

In any case, in the occassion of Father's Day which falls this coming Sunday, I wish to share this song which has been special for me from the very first time I heard it. For some reason, it's always been Papa who comes to mind everytime I listen to or sing along with this song.

Maybe it's because the lyrics kind of illustrate Papa the way I knew him...




You don't know him
Like I know him
He must be allowed to stand proud
If you shame this man and make him crawl
He'll be no man at all...
No man at all

And he's gotta be someone
Who wakes every morning
And takes on the world for a whim
Who touches your hand and
makes you fall for only him

and he's gotta be someone
who's strong as a lion
yet sweet as a meadowlark song
who makes any dream seem
like you'd love to go along

Oh, everything about him is a contradiction
Built a boundless empire
with a heart of a child
I'd trade it all if I could just recall
the last time the emperor smiled

and he's gotta be someone
who burns with a passion
that never, ever sets him free
Oh please say tonight might
relieve him of his misery
and bring that someone I knew
to me...
-He's Gotta Be Someone
Lea Salonga
Little Tramp-The Musical

DOWNLOAD THIS SONG




On behalf of Ate Riza, Beng, Oding & Jon-Jon...


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, PA!

Wherever you are now (in the company of Mama & Ron John), we will continue to send to you our love and gratitude for all the things you have done for us.

We are who are now, and we will be whoever we'll become, because of everything you have been to us.

And for me to be even just half the man you have been, will be my lifelong honorable goal...




Papa
Father's Day

Man, I'm Stoned!

Filed under Self Health


In a few hours, I will be off to Makati Medical Center to admit myself in preparation for my scheduled surgery Wednesday. I'll be undergoing an Open Cholecystectomy, or in layman's term, Gallbladder Removal.

A few months ago in the pre-employment medical exams for the cruise liner I'm applying for, I found out through an ultrasound exam that I have gallstones. And though these are not life-threatening, I was advised to have them removed as soon as possible so I can be cleared medically (otherwise, I won't be allowed to be deployed and board the ship).

Anyways, I'm not exactly nervous about the operation since it's pretty much a routine procedure for doctors and this is actually my second time to have open surgery. What I'm anxious about is that I'll have to live with yet another scar on my once-flawless body (hah!). I already have one on the right side of my waist and now, I'll have another one on my tummy. Darn!

Vanity can be really punishing sometimes...




Health
Gallstones
Cholecystectomy

Exes, Why's & Zzzsss...

Filed under Self Sunshine Friends


Why the title?

Well, allow me to explain...


EXes

Last week, I had the chance to spend time with 2 of my exes... separately, of course!

Friday, I had a last minute invite from an ex to join him and our other friends for an overnight trip to Tagaytay. I hesitated a bit and initially wanted to take a rain check since I still had to come to work that evening. However, considering that he just got back from the USA and I haven't seen him in a long time (and he isn't exactly the type who takes 'No' for an answer), I eventually agreed.

We had a nice evening in Tagaytay when we checked out the nightlife there (we had a few drinks in Café Lupe) and spent a considerable and wacky time looking out for any signs of cruising activity in the area (call it research, if you will...hah!).

Little did we know that he had a surprise up his sleeves! When he previously said we already have a place to stay in, we thought that he reserved a room in one of the hotels there. But lo and behold, after checking out the area, he drove us to a nearby subdivision up to a beautiful house that turned out to be his! Apparently, part of his US earnings for the past three years had been spent on this cute little house. Enviable!

Fast forward to Sunday, I texted my most recent ex, my Sunshine, to watch Spiderman 3. Lucky for me, he agreed. And we did watch the movie that night and bought a couple of Spidey merchandise (1 for me & 1 for his nephew).

What was interesting about our movie 'date' was that we were a little quiet the whole time and an awkwardness was clearly felt. We did not have our usual chit-chat and non-sense exhange of words. It simply was like we were both on a blind date with a stranger. Well, I guess we still have to give ourselves a little more time to adjust to our new reality.

From friends to lovers to friends...

Incidentally, today would have marked our 3rd anniversary...aaaawwwww!

Which leads me to the 2nd part of this blog post...


WHY's

Since I announced my break-up with Sunshine, I was met with the expected universal question (with varied degrees of shock, surprise & disappointment) from our friends: WHY?

And like in my previous entry, the only reason I tell them is that we have reached that point where parting ways would be the best for both of us.

And sweet that they are, my friends also have that follow-up question to 'why' which is... How are you?... Are you okay?... How are you holding up?

And with all honesty, I have consistently assured them that I am doing just fine. Sure, I am sad and disappointed on what happened, but compared to the previous break-up's I had to go through, this is without a doubt the most okay I have been. I guess it helps that we ended up amicably and I saw no pressing reason to be bitter about it.

As I also have told a few of my friends, without me realizing it, I kinda knew that the end was bound to happen and I have somehow prepared for it. To quote a line from the Madonna documentary Truth or Dare: "It's like when someone is dying, I kinda have to make peace with it before it happens; so when it happens, I don't feel anything..."

Again, not that I did not feel anything, it's only that now when I look back at what we had, unlike in my previous relationships, I do not have tears in my eyes... only a smile on my face... aaawww!


ZZZssss

And for the last part of my entry, I just wanted share the fact that I haven't been able to have a good enough sleep for the past few days mainly because I have to take care of some requirements I need to get so I can finally realize my plans to work abroad.

Since late last year, I have been working on my application for a job that would take me to America to work as a Front Desk Agent in a cruise liner. I have put on hold my application process for a couple of months since I have health-related concerns I need to resolve before I leave (and also so I can have time to spend summer with my friends).

And now, I have resumed pursuing this job and since I am pretty much on the last leg of the process, things are turning out to be more hectic than I anticipated. This Friday, I'll start my 10-day Basic Safety Training which I will take in the afternoon while I still have to report for work in the evening. I will also be returning back to my university (UP Diliman) to finally get my academic records (which I filed for 2 months ago! Damn bureaucracy!). Right after that, I will have yet another pre-employment medical exams and then I will go through the process of getting my seaman's book/certificate. And then I'll be scheduled for an interview with the US Embassy for my working visa.

Much as I want to just resign from my current work so I can fully focus my time and energy on my application, I am just not in that opportune position yet. So I only have to toughen up for the meantime and just brace myself for more sleepless nights (or day for that matter)!

What I had to do to fulfill the American Dream...



Self
Sunshine