Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I'll Remember . . .



It's been more than a week since my father's passing and he had already been laid to rest, but I still carry the disbelief of my new reality.

Though in the days after Papa left, I have been telling friends and relatives that it was relatively easier for me to deal with the loss as we had 3 weeks to emotionally prepare for any eventuality, I still could not cover my grief.

Madonna once said "I make my peace with it before it happens, so when it happens, I don't feel anything . . .", but much as I wanted to subscribe to that idea, my emotions are just much too strong to be contained.

On Sunday's interment , I could no longer feign strength and composure and I cried my sorrows away. It was after all, the last time I will ever see my father.

But now, I am at peace with the knowledge that wherever Papa is right now, he's happy to be no longer suffering. He's reunited with Mama, the greatest love of his life. And he will now have a chance to be with the son he lost 32 years ago, my twin brother, Ron John.


And like any survivor, I am now moving on to another chapter in my life knowing fully well that my loved ones in the afterlife are looking down on me and I will forever be guided by their light.


And I'll remember the love that they gave me, now that I'm standing on my own . . .






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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. :(

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And I'm so sorry to hear about your father.

dorna! said...

Please accept my condolences.

San Francisco Guy said...

you have every right to break down and let the tears go. it is the love, the strength and the guidance of your mom and dad that got you to where you are now. because of all these, you are stronger and at peace with yourself. time is suppsoed to heal everything. let it. let the memories allow you to move on to the next place of your life.

Ottawa Pocket Watches said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. Saying goodbye to a parent is the beginning of an important chapter of adult life. I still think of my father every day. As long as your father is in your heart he is not truly gone.

The only other thing of worth I can tell you is that it does get better with time. You don't necessarily get over it but you learn to live with it. Let your feelings come and accept each new phase of mourning.

Sending positive energy and thoughts your way.

soh