A Weird Sunday
I've been meaning to write about this at the start of this week. But to give way to a supposedly jolly occassion of my idol's birthday yesterday, I put it off . . . until today.
After a stress-relieving Saturday night with some friends and a whole lot of Madonna music, I spent what's left of my weekend in the hospital attending to my father whose condition has not significantly improved. Luckily, neither has it worsened.
It was a busy time at the hospital with some relatives and friends visiting. One of them is an uncle, Papa's younger brother, who was generous enough to give us a considerable amount of money to help us out with the hospital bill.
Anyway, our uncle discussed with us something that left us speechless and dumbfounded. He asked us if we already have any plans in the possibility that our father will not be able to survive this episode. Particularly, Uncle wanted to know if we already know where we plan to bury him just in case. Apparently, there is a memorial lot originally intended for an aunt who's already in the US, that we could use . . . again, just in case.
Naturally, it was a topic none of us has entertained yet. I guess we're all in our varied states of denial. We were hoping so much for our father to get better that we have forgotten the fact that he is indeed already old and that he may be able to survive this, but his time is already running out.
Upon this realization, we then had a family meeting and made the decision to take our uncle's offer to reserve that space for Papa. Also, we will have to transfer Mama's and Ron John's (my twin brother) remains to this new location since we want them to be together even in death.
It was really weird for us to have that discussion while our father is still alive. But I'm also thankful that someone else made us face the possibilities.
I guess, it is just wise that for every battle, you can only hope for the best but you always have to be prepared for the worst.
Life
2 comments:
I have so much wanted to talk to you about this before but was not quite sure how to approach the subject with you. As a healthcare professional who see these things everyday, it bothers me that families sometimes have to scramble for last minute arrangements if or when the inevitable happens. This is another part of life that also requires careful planning on our part. Most of us are afraid to face this reality because, somehow, we cling to the belief that our loved ones are invincible. That death only happens to 'bad people'. We also somehow feel guilty that we are alive and well. Or given more time, we can make right whatever our shortcomings are to our loved ones. Or to say 'I love you' one more time.
I am glad that your uncle has started you and your siblings talking about this. I am also glad taht your family has something in place. You will be more than ahead compared with everybody else, trust me. Nothing like the present to discuss the future. Like the cliche says, hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Just last Christmas my husband's mother passed away ... it was not unexpected but she refused to ever even consider the notion that she would die. She was 82. We weren't allowed to know her business and after her passing we had to scramble ... it was very difficult. I too am glad you have a plan now. Everyone needs a plan ... even the young.
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